reveuse_aussi (reveuse_aussi) wrote in french_it_up,

Wrote a Story for my French II class


Il y avait un garçon. Il s’appellait Koichi. Tout à coup, il voulait manger. C’était étrangere. Il aimait danser, et il aimait chantel, mais il voulait être serveuse. Quelquefois, il n’a rien compris. La nourriture, les gens, l’aissiettes, il était en train de le restaurant quand il a vu u samurai. Il avait peur de ninjas, mais pas samurai. Le samurai était une fille, une très jolie fille. (Ohhh!)


Il lui a dit << Je vous aime. Toujour à tes cotés. >>


La fille, elle souriait. Puis elle riait. Finalement, elle lui a dit << Il cherchait amour, hah! >> Elle s’est sauvée, et elle n’est jamais revenue.


Au bout d’un moment il a apercu il pleuvait.


Il a pleuré.


à nouveau, il n’a rien compris.

Any suggestions? I don't think I'm all that great at French and we're traveling there this summer and I'm really scared about being let out on our own for lunch. Any suggestions on what to learn to make the trip easier? Or anything about the story 8D Please, suggest it!
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I will try to help with what I can :)

C’était étrangere.→ C'était étrange.

*étrangère is a woman foreigner!:)

Il aimait chantel → Il aimait chanter

Serveuse should be serveur in this case*
*note the gender

l’aissiettes → les assiettes

"être en train de" is usually followed by a verb ^^ IE, "J'étais en train de lire quand tu m'as appelé" (I was in the middle of reading when you called me)

Samurai is "samouraï". I'm not familiar with female samurai, but if this one is, it should be une samouraï

La fille, elle souriait. Puis elle riait.
The tense you use here (ugh, haven't had French class in years and can't remember the names for the life of me) seems strange somehow.
There is a more proper past tense to be used for literary works (stories). I'm sure if you have read books in French you know what I mean. But if this is for a class, I don't want to teach you something too advanced that the teacher will think you are cheating.

il a aperçu qu'il pleuvait.
*If c has an "s" sound, and is followed by A, O, or U, it must have the cedille!
Also, unlike in English where "that" is often assumed in phrases like "He said he wasn't coming", in French you must include "que". (il a dit qu'il ne venait pas)

If you're on your own for lunch I would suggest focusing on restaurant vocabulary, not just "je voudrais.." but the names of various dishes and so on (especially things like végétarien[ne], if that's you or your classmates). But I'm sure you will be fine; it seems you know a lot of French :)